My First Sip of Black Coffee

This post is part of a 10-week long summer blogging challenge with Marian Ledesma. If you are a just-graduated senior at high school and about to become a first-year student at college, her honest genuine letter is waiting for you.

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Dear Mare,

Do you remember your first time trying a sip of black coffee? I do. I remember it was one afternoon with my mom at a coffee shop to study (What's new?). I asked my mom if I can try her cup of lukewarm americano. She warned me, "you would not like it because of its bitter taste but you could try." Disregarding her warning, I took a sip and grimaced.

The first sip of black coffee is usually not so great because people have not experienced such bitterness before. However, people get used to the taste of coffee and love the enjoyment that coffee gives to us. I think life can be like cups of black coffee.

I would like to compare black coffee's bitter taste with failures we experience in our lives. Like the first cup of black coffee in my life, the first failure was very bitter. I was mournful and filled with sorrow, disappointment, anger towards myself, the world, and God.

My first failure in my memories is when I was in 6th grade. As a little girl, all I dreamed of becoming was an artist. I spent most of my days creating artwork due to my insatiable passion for art. In order to transform my passion to a viable future, I started to prepare for an entrance exam for an art-focused middle school in Korea. Since 4th grade, I committed considerable time and effort into my preparation to survive and succeed in the notoriously competitive academic environment of Korea. Sometimes, I skipped school to spend more time drawing and painting. I thought I would succeed undoubtedly. To add more, people's compliments over my artwork made me more confident. Not getting accepted to the art school was not possible in my head. On the test day, I confidently and pompously walked pass the testing room thinking that I deserve to get in. Unfortunately, the over-confidence came back as a spear that tore through my heart. I did not get the admission to my dream school. I could not believe it. When I found it out on my computer, I kept reloading the website to make sure if what I am looking at was incorrect. I cannot even perfectly describe how sad I was. I was home alone at that time and I was crying so loud. When my mom and brother came home, they were so shocked to see me crying. My self-esteem plunged like an airplane without its wings. All my hope had evaporated in the aftermath of my unprecedented failure. I simply did not know what to do.

So that is my story of first failure. Tasting a failure as a 12 years old girl was definitely tough. At that moment, I thought my life was over. Too early to think such thing, huh? But I actually did. I turned into a gloomy sad girl from a happy girl; even people around me could notice the change in me. However, I learned that it was not the end as I live more years of my life. Actually, it was the opposite.

People learn the real values of black coffee as they drink more cups of coffee. Its smooth flavor, calmness the first sip gives, and caffeine kick (haha, very essential for a college student like me), and so much more. People could only experience all these by drinking many cups of coffee and getting used to its bitterness.

Similar to such experience, you learn the importance of failures as you experience them more than once. Before I faced this incident of getting rejected to the art school, I had never thought of other potentials and gifts in me. When people thought of Joanne, it was always the word "art" tagged along. However, because I did not get accepted to the school, I was able to study abroad in Southern California a year after the incident, and I learned so many things about myself, God, and the world. Through studying in my high school, Valley, I learned that I have potentials in studying not only art but also other subjects like science, math, and others. Maybe another way to word it is that I learned that learning in various subjects can be fun. More important than education, people were where I learned countless lessons and received blessings. They taught me what are important values in my lives. My artistic talent is not the most important thing anymore in my life. It is the talent and tool that God has given to me, however, it is not the focus of my life. How can you thrive in your life if you have a tool but does not know its purpose? Failures have taught me not only that God has given me more than artistic talents but also that God has specific plans for me to live my life with a purpose.

Failures have reminded me that my life cannot always parallel to what I want but my life goes by how God wants to place me in the world. Through more than one failure, I start to partially understand why God led me into this unique path. It would be a lie if I had said that I 100% understand what He is doing with my life. However, I try to live everyday with gratitude and compassion because I believe that God has plans for every single details to prosper me. Failures are hard. It feels so challenging to overcome them but Mare, I want to remind you that God only gives us challenges that we can overcome, and He will also provide a way out from them.

If I was accepted to the art school, I would have not gone to Valley Christian Schools, I would have not met amazing friends like you, teachers, and people who impacted my life, I would have not known that I can run, row, climb, lead, teach, and love others. Isn't it crazy to think what if things you experienced in the past did not happen? There may be some embarrassing, frustrating, or upsetting moments you want to go back and fix them but if you think about it, you embraced them and got stronger than who you were.

What is your first failure in your memories? How did it impact you to become who you are right now?

Blessing,

Jo

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Here was my first week blog post of the challenge! I will be travelling to Paris, France, and Cork, Ireland, next week! I am super pumped to explore the cities and see amazing views. Stay tuned for both my and Marian's blog posts!