[name] and the Search for Happiness

Hi! This is Week 3 post of the the challenge with Marian Ledesma. I have been struggling from post-EuropeTrip blues. Mostly from jetlag and physical exhaustion but it was so worth it. Here is my blog about the film Hector and the Search for the Happiness. Simon Pegg is in it, and it is a pleasant movie. I wrote my thoughts after watching the film. Enjoy the cup of Jo!

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6/23/2019

Dear Mare,

Have you watched a movie called Hector and the Search for Happiness? It's a great movie! The film kind of reminded me of the Secret Life of Walter Mitty because both Walter and Hector search for something valuable in their lives. Hector and the Search for Happiness is originally written as a book. I have not read the book yet, however, I believe that the film did a good job of delivering an important message of what happiness is. The main character Hector is a psychiatrist who was not satisfied with his daily lives. By his girlfriend's suggestion, he goes on a long journey to seek the meaning of happiness with his small notebook to record lists of lessons about happiness. I loved how he draws little drawings along the lists. In the film, he only mentioned 15 lessons while there are 23 of them in the novel.

I would like to list the ones in the film since I just watched it:

1. Making comparisons can spoil your happiness

2. A lot of people think happiness means being richer or more important

3. Many people only see happiness in their future

4. Happiness could be the freedom to love more than one woman at a time

5. Sometimes happiness is not knowing the whole story

6. Avoiding unhappiness… is not the road to happiness

7. Does this person bring you predominantly a) up or b) down ?

8. Happiness is answering your calling

9. Happiness is being loved for who you are

10. Sweet potato stew!

11. Fear is an impediment to happiness

12. Happiness is feeling completely alive

13. Happiness is knowing how to celebrate

14. Listening is loving

15. Nostalgia is not what it used to be

I would like to emphasize that some points can be understood only if you watch the film. These lists helped me to reflect my own life but especially reflection of the present moment. The moment that I was sitting on the couch at 11 pm and finishing this movie with my mom. I think happiness has a great deep connection with gratitude. At that moment, I was so grateful to have my mom next to me watching the movie together. We were both suffering jetlag from the recent trip but I was so grateful that we were both present to spend time together. As you know, my mom had multiple surgeries for cancers two years ago. Since then, she has had to take care of her health carefully. For instance, she has to take a medication everyday for the rest of her life. However, she learned the importance of taking herself and she is so much healthier than how she was. I am so happy to be able to hug her, put facial masks on, go on shopping, go to church, search for many delicious local food, talk about various subjects, and go on hikes together. There are so many other things I am so grateful for what is present in my life. Of course, I sometimes get discouraged and negative but the reason why I can stand up again is because I have hope; Hope that everything is going to be okay.

At the end of the film, Hector defines,

"Everyone has an obligation to be happy"

This may sound little forceful by itself, however, if you think about it, you deserve to be happy and you are the only one who can allow that. I believe that we all can be make ourselves happy. It is not just Hector who was able to find his own happiness. We all can. It does not mean it will be a quick journey. It could be long as Hectors or even longer. But remember this: Do not be disappointed or scared for the journey because "happiness is not a goal." (quote from the novel Hector and the Search for Happiness). What do you think about the lists that Hector made, Mare? Is there any you either agree or disagree? Maybe we should try cooking "sweet potato stew" like Hector to see if it brings us happiness :)

I have another perspective I want to give to you about happiness. Few days ago, I was watching a Disney film Inside Out, which is about emotions humans feel. I was watching it in a plane on my way to Korea from Paris last week, and I had this deep question in mind.

Why do people remember sad memories more strongly than happy memories?

There can be exceptions to this assumption that people have a stronger memorial capacity over sadness, however, many people have suffered from overcoming sadness from the past. After the flight, I went to a clothing store of my old friend to visit her. While I was hanging with her, I asked my friend this question, and she responded,

"Maybe it is because we have way more happier moments than sad moments in our days. The rareness of sad moments makes them more impactful to us."

My friend and I are not psychologists but this answer seemed logical. As people live, they face joyful, angry, scary, and neutral moments but not sad moments often as others. I do not want to firmly define that sadness is bad because sadness makes people stronger and more fearless towards it. However, I would like to underscore that anything too much is unhealthy, and sadness is not an exception from it. This response from my friend helped me to realize that we live life that consists of a lot of happy moments; That is something to be thankful for! We often forget to appreciate happy moments in our lives because we have so many happy moments all the time. It can be a short happiness from having a first bite of In-N-Out burger after volunteering at Compton Initiative or taking a cold shower and washing out all the dust on your skin after a cross country race at 85 degree in LA; it can be a long happiness from celebrating your beloved one's happiness, graduating from a school and having a new start, and others. We are surrounded by tons of happiness and recognizing them, which I define as gratitude, will make you even happier and filled with internal hope.

What do you see around you, Marian? Do you see any tail of happiness behind the couch or table in front of you? They are everywhere, and it is up to you to search for it!

Love,

Jo

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The title of this post is [name] and the Search for the Happiness. Now, put your name on the blank. Are you ready for this journey of searching for your happiness?

I pray for you and your journey of searching your happiness. I hope this post brings you encouragement and hope that your happiness will be found by you.